Bad Genes

To the trash!

“Doctor, what’s wrong with my child?”  I‘m not saying it but I was thinking it as I walked out to the kitchen and saw a beautiful coconut cake sitting forlorn. It sat on the counter only half eaten after three whole days in our home. “Ev. Would you like a piece of cake?” “No thank you.” No cake. No cookies. An occasional piece of candy. He wants grapes. Or Cuties.

It’s almost as if he wants to mock me, my sweet tooth, and mouth full of amalgam that stand as testament to a lifetime committed to eating sweets. He mocks me and leaves me to ingest all those empty calories without the help of my son. My god! How am I ever going to achieve appropriate male bonding with this kid if we can't sit at a counter or table and indulge in desserts??

I do have hope. I’m thinking about letting the university do some gene research on the kid. In light of the growing concern with obesity, perhaps Ev holds the genetic key to not eating sweets. If he does, though, it’s sure as hell recessive in me.

In the meantime, I'm throwing the damn thing out. It's doing nothing but changing my contour and it's no fun getting fat alone.