A Drone Of My Own

What part of "Private Drive" don't you understand?!!

I'm joining the NRA. Ever since yesterday's testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee I am stoked. Yesterday NRA CEO Wayne LaPierre testified that his organization does not "believe the government should dictate what we can lawfully own and use to protect our families." Sign-me-up!

I have a circle drive in front of my house. It doesn't happen often but once every week or so some inconsiderate bastard will use it to make a u-turn. Rather than just pulling in, backing up and proceeding, some jerk thinks he needs to take the circle tour through my front yard, past my front door, exiting past the breakfast table. With the help of the NRA I can finally take appropriate action and defend my home and family from these trespassers, these rubbernecking goofballs who are probably snapping photographs and plotting a break-in.

I haven't decided yet what exactly I would most like to "lawfully own" to protect my family. Hard to decide when the buffet contains whatever I deem necessary to protect my family. An explosive device holds tons of appeal but carries the risk of damaging the concrete-- a phyrric victory at best. A spike board and small arms fire has a certain jazzy appeal as well. But then, too, there's the issue of removing the vehicle and disposing of the body of the threatening party. Obviously I haven't had the time to fully consider all my options. 

Once the government gets it through it's tree huggin' head to stop with the attempts to restrict my weapons ownership, I can admit to you I'm leaning toward a drone. A drone allows the intervention to occur after the offending party has removed his or her effen' vehicle from the property thus making clean-up the city's problem, not mine. And, too, Evan loves Space Invaders Angry Birds. Not much of a leap there.

Mr. LaPierre really understands me. Obviously he has a circle drive. I'm in!