Thursday, November 17, 2011

Switched at Birth



DNA testing has become one of the greatest advances in criminal science and paternity disputes. Where in years past there could be only hearsay, speculation, and circumstantial support, now one's guilt/innocence/heritage can be established with authority-- for better or for worse.

We are considering DNA testing here in our family. Serious questions have been arising over the course of the past year as to the heritage of the small boy we call our own. Crazy preferences which make no genetic sense: Grapes over gum drops, cantaloupe over candy. Our most recent case in point: this evening after dinner I went to the cookie jar, removed one scrumptious chocolate chip cherry Toll House cookie and stood in the kitchen eating in plain sight of the boy we call our own. Initially he ignored that big beautiful disc-- very unlikely given his alleged heritage. Then he noticed and asked for a cookie. Better. Then he returned it saying, "I don't need a cookie. I already had one in my lunch today." Whaaaat?? Call the lab!!

Somewhere, probably in this state, there's a kid walking around with a couple of health-food parents, driving them crazy as he begs for candy, cookies, Ding Dongs and Twinkies. I'm pretty sure we can obtain the information we need with just a simple oral swab. It won't hurt him a bit and it will certainly answer a lot of questions my wife and I are struggling to understand. And if it does turn out we're living a "switched at birth" scenario?  We won't trade him in; we like him too much. It'll just be easier to accept what we can't now understand.

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