The Perils of Packaging

Open at your own risk

It starts with something so simple and turns into something so unsettling: A box of Kleenex. Being the considerate guy I am I decided I should replace the Kleenex box I had emptied in our bathroom the other morning.

Let me just tell you this: Kleenex must think there is significant danger of contamination or something. I had bought one of those six-packs of the square boxes and so, anxious to do the right thing, tried to open the package with my bare hands. By the time I had created a start in that shrink-wrap packaging I thought I would have to cancel my surgery day due to sprained fingers. Then, successfully clearing that hurdle, I had to get the plastic off the individual box. Unreal.

The bad thing in this is looking ahead to the future. As I get older, I think I may need to start wearing a fanny pack just to keep my glasses, scissors, plyers, and bandaids. Otherwise, I don't know how I'll ever get anything open. It's that or at 75 I may just have to be that old man that walks around with a handkerchief tucked up the cuff of his shirt-- slightly used but readily available.