Out, Out! Damn Spot

A "spot on" topping.

My frugal mother used to drive me crazy as a kid. She was frugal to a fault. One of her worst offenses in my eyes was when the cheese would start to gather a spot or two of mold she would simply pull out a knife and dispatch the infected area. In her mind and experience, anything less than foul smelling rot could be safely excised and the body preserved for continued use. Dis-gusting! But she would have made a good tumor surgeon.

Fast forward 40 years. It's Christmas night and we finally have found enough room for pumpkin pie. Three big slices and Kels and I go for the Cool Whip. She flips a dollop on her slice and then the cry goes forth: "Oh, god! Mold!" Damn!! how the hell did that happen? She scrapes the contaminated whipped topping from her pie and sends it to garbage disposal hell.

Disappointed and frustrated I take the only action I can think of to salvage the situation. The container is not grossly infected. I'm sorry but I'm not having pumpkin pie without Cool Whip. It's Christmas night and there is not a facility selling Cool Whip within a hundred miles of this little town and I'm not having pumpkin pie without Cool Whip... and I am having pumpkin pie! So I did what had to be done: While my daughter watched in horror, I did as I have been trained to do: I scraped off the two, or three, tiniest of mold spots and slapped a mountain of Cool Whip on my slice. Delicious!

If you're reading this, it worked out okay. I was sick as hell two days later but I'm sure it was unrelated. The pie was fabulous and both Kels and I will live to eat pumpkin pie again--although I can assure you that, in the future, when pumpkin pie is on the menu I'll be checking the Cool Whip before the pie goes in the oven!

Too bad I didn't just check the outside fridge first where there was a brand new unopened tub of Cool Whip sitting in the freezer.