Happy Song

A friend's wife recently asked me how my sister was doing. She asked in reference to my sister losing her husband about 3 years ago. I told her she was doing well but still missed her late husband. My friend's wife, responding with a sigh,  said something to the effect of, "Isn't it amazing-- all those years you live with 'em-- you could just kill 'em and then, when they're gone, you miss 'em."

After getting my lower plate back in contact with my upper I explained I didn't think my sister had that kind of relationship. I told her they actually really liked each other and enjoyed their lives together. She looked surprised, as if it weren't possible. "Really?"

I know this couple pretty well. They've been together close to 30 years and I know they've had their battles. For one reason or another they've persisted in their marriage. Unfortunately, I think I've chosen the right word: Persisted. The sad thing in the case of my friend's relationship is, although his wife's comment was facetious hyperbole, knowing them as a couple, it had the ring of truth.

I like to think my next career could be as a marriage counselor. I've been married 3 times. (It's like rehab: Who wants an addiction counselor who's never had a problem with substance abuse?) But, since I haven't hung my shingle yet, I'll be brief and leave it at this: If I felt my spouse drove me to the point where "I could just kill 'em," I would have to seriously rethink how, and with whom, I'm spending my time.  I see too many couples where the partners give every appearance of simply being stuck with each other. I realize every day can't necessarily be a hot date-- but every year should be a good one. Marriage should be a happy song, not a somber fugue. Life's too short for second best, distant thirds, or maybe laters.