Massage Therapy

My son seems to go in jags.  For two months he barely says "goodnight" en route to bed then the next 3 weeks he wants me in there every night 'til he falls asleep. "I just want you to rub my back."

Tonight was one of those nights when he wanted me to lay there on the floor next to his bed, rubbing his belly until he fell asleep. There's not a lot to do laying there and tonight I got to thinking: what if my Dad had rubbed my back every once in a while?  Would I be a better man?  Would I be richer, happier, fatter or thinner?  Would I be a painter, a potter, a preacher, a poet, a pauper?

In my generation Dads didn't give bedtime back rubs, hugs, or read bedtime stories. There were many times when Moms didn't either.  Going to bed, staying quiet and falling asleep were simply on a child's list of duties like setting the table, picking up one's room, or putting your toys away.  Failure to do so carried penalties similar to any other childhood violation; severity proportional to the parents' need for quiet and inversely proportional to their patience at day's end.

My Dad did come into my bedroom to check on me once after I had gone to bed.  I remember it well: I was 15, sharing a room with my brother, and smoking a cigarette.  The door opened, the cigarette fell to the hardwood, and my Dad said, "Who's smoking a cigaette?"  I sheepishly admitted to the crime, feeling about as sophisticated as a 4 year old caught swiping cookies off a counter. "Don't start that damn habit."  End of lecture. No story. No hug. No back rub. Just that efficient statement and on his way.

Perhaps growing up in an era when parents were advisors and disciplinary agents rather than friends and chauffeurs provided a certain stress in one's early years.  Stress can be a positive force in one's life, a powerful engine of progress and productivity. Nowadays the only parent related stress Johnny encounters is whether their Mom or Dad will be able to get them to soccer in time after first dropping Suzy at swimming, Marsha at cheer, and Billy at tae kwan do.

Time will tell whether we lavish too much attention and concern on our children these days and just what effect may result.  For now, I'll take my chances. If he wants a back rub, he gets a back rub.