Dependents: Do the Math

In my line of work I take care of a lot of elderly people.  Almost all of the people I see in their 60’s are a healthy active bunch.  60 is the new 50 they say. A great many of the people I see in their seventies are also quite healthy and active. Some of the people I see in their 80’s are healthy and active as are a few of those I see in their 90’s. Their counterparts in those groups are not doing so well.

Last week I was asked to see a woman in her mid-80’s with hip pain.  She is one of those who suffers with early dementia, who doesn’t walk much, and who cannot live independently even though she remains in her own home. I walked in her room and discovered her son there visiting who turned out to be a man I know.  He is about ten years older than me, a professional who lives pretty well.  We visited and he told me of his mother’s failing health and her ever-increasing needs.  Forgive me, but I had to think, “thank God my parents are gone.” My dad was 48 when I was born, my mother 47.  They were both gone by the time I was 33.

This evening, shortly after dinner, as my 4 year old son was jumping up and down on my belly I was given cause to consider the wisdom of having a 4 year old at my age.  I try to stretch and work on my core strength at least 5 days a week but, even so, I am inclined to think my body at 34 was far better equipped to accommodate the vigor of a 4 year old climbing on my belly just moments after dinner.  Every time he asks me to race him, or crawl, or push, or jump, or to climb into a freezing cold pool with him it’s the same:  I hope I survive this journey.

Be that as it may, there is never a day that goes by when I don’t feel like a lucky man to have this little boy.  His energy and joy and humor and curiosity are boundless and bring the same to my life.  He makes me happy far more often than I feel sore; he makes me feel renewed far more often than fatigued; makes me laugh far more often than he causes frustration.  And better still, I can hope that by the time I’m 70 he’ll be out of the house, living an independent life (even if he is still on the Dad Scholarship Plan), will not need me to take him to doctors appointments, will not be in diapers,  and perhaps, will even be dating a hot young babe he can bring home to meet dear ol’ dad.  Yes, I’ll definitely take my 4 year old at 54.  Good luck to the rest of ya!