Happy Thanksgiving

I visited an old friend and colleague the other day. He’s 94, sharp as a tack, lives alone with help. Whenever I meet a person of age like my friend, a person who has lived a full and rewarding life, I have to think of the memories—the great bank of experience and recollection one accumulates over the years.

I thought of this again yesterday morning. I got up and it early before work so that I could get a few pre-Thanksgiving tasks underway. I boiled my sweet potatoes for sweet potato pie. I cooked up the rice and grains for a couple of side salads we would be taking. And as I did this work I started to walk the aisles of my many Thanksgiving memories. I missed an opportunity to be with my extended family for Thanksgiving this year simply because the day snuck up too quickly. And, so, as I peeled and chopped and drained and tossed my way through the predawn hours in my kitchen, I thought back to preparing meals with family—brothers and sisters and Mom directing traffic. I thought back to kitchens past, exploding with all family hands on deck: peelers and choppers and stuffers and bakers and mashers and Dad tending bar for the guests.

Among the very many things for which I can be thankful are those many years of wonderful family memories. Memories of family work in preparing a big meal to be shared. Not each moment necessarily a joy at the time but certainly a treasured gift looking back all those years.

This year my friend will be with neighbors across the street enjoying Thanksgiving dinner and the company of friends. I like to think there’s still room for more memories, even at 94. I feel sorry for those who are without family or friends on this day of giving thanks. But, most of all, I feel sorry for those with family and friends who don’t take advantage of this opportunity to create a treasured memory either by choice or necessity: those who prefer to dash out to hit the sales and those who find themselves forced to work the stores that simply cannot resist the opportunity to pervert this national day of Thanksgiving into yet another opportunity to shore up profits on the year.

I wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving and hope you spend the days making memories of your own. Not of half-off bargains but of a day shared family and friends. A day spent slowing to a stop—even for just a moment. A day in which we recognize that we are truly among the most fortunate of all.

How the Grinch Spent Halloween

I played the Grinch last night. On a night when so many little kids were out scouring the neighborhoods for candy and treats, I holed up in the den, lights low, reviewing someone else's legal issues, looking at my daughter's essays for medical school applications, and writing a proposal for the hospital Board of Trustees-- fun! But before all that I first went out for Chinese and sat there feeling guilty, knowing there was plenty of time and multiple venues between that restaurant and home where I could rush in and arm myself with candy. But I didn’t. I finished my dinner, ate my fortune cookie, and headed home with the hope no one would go hurrying expectantly to the front door after seeing me pull into the driveway. No, the porch light remained off and I remained undisturbed except for that nagging little angel sitting on my left shoulder asking me why I wasn't giving out candy.

As I struggled with my decision I remembered what Tam had told me: Don’t do it! She reminded me how last year I got a bit snippy with great big mommas holding out pillow cases for infants in arms and babes in strollers. And with the parents and kids who hold out second and third bags for sick kids at home. And especially with the kids not in costume who didn’t need coffee grounds to make a fake beard—they just skipped shaving that morning. And, too, with the 1/3 or more who couldn’t say “trick or treat” let alone “thank you.” Nonetheless, I felt kinda bad hiding out in the den for three hours.

Next year I may return to answering the ding-dong doorbell of trick or treaters. But first they’ll have to get by the sign in the yard. Next to the sign will be a post with a high line drawn at about 70” and a low line drawn at about 30.” Next to that post the sign will read:

ALL TRICK OR TREATERS MUST BE:

TALLER THAN THE BOTTOM LINE

SHORTER THAN THE TOP LINE

UPRIGHT AND WALKING WITHOUT SUPPORT

ABLE AND WILLING TO SAY “TRICK OR TREAT” AND “THANK YOU”

UNDER THE AGE OF 19

(WE CARD WE CARE—PLEASE BE READY TO SHOW GOVERNMENT ISSUED PHOTO ID)

IN COSTUME

PRESENT TO COLLECT

(WE REGRET THAT TREATS CANNOT BE PROVIDED FOR ABSENT PARTIES REGARDLESS OF CIRCUMSTANCE)

Yeah, now that’s the spirit!